your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
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My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
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Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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