The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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