The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize