Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im drinking this country out of the recession.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you made out with another girl for some wings
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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