Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize