I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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