They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
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Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
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If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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