I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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