u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
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I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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