There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize