Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize