I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
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You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
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it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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