Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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