you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize