why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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