somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He? As in you personified your dick?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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