Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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