Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize