you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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