I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
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Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
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I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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