my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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