I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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