Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize