If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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