If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
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I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
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Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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