so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
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Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
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We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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