And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
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Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
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Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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