brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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