just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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