You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize