the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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