Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize