At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
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Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
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I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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