Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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