I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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