i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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