go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize