i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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