shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
wakey wakey hands off snakey
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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