you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize