if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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