i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize