I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I need moral support for this bender
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize