i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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