All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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