he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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