I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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