So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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