i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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