She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I will pee on everything he values.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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